Home Renovation Conversation #2

The day I wrote the blog about Todd and his crazy ideas, he came home with a large list of questions for me.  He does this from time to time so that he knows what I would want.  Mind you, we are NOT doing ANYTHING to the house anytime this year. 

When I saw the list of questions, and the possible answers, I had to just laugh.  The way his mind works cracks me up.  This is what it looked like:

(Circle One)

Do you want an additional full or half bath?  Full - Half

If full bath, what kind of shower/tub do you want? Standard tub – 2 person shower – one person shower – large tile 2-person shower.

What kind of sink do you want?  Pedestal - Standard

What size 3^rd bedroom do you want?  Small – Large

Do you want to have access to the house from the garage? Y-N

What size laundry room do you want?  Large – Laundry Closet

The questions went on and on. 

I answered them all, and gave them to him.  He looked them over, looked up at me, and said, “You just made my life so much easier…and saved us thousands of dollars!”

Did he really think I wanted a huge 3^rd bedroom?  A large tile shower with two shower-heads?  He thought I would be opposed to getting to the house through the laundry room.  If that were the case, he would have to move some walls around.  When we first bought the house, we weren’t able to get into the house through the garage.  We had to go out of the garage, outside, and then into the house.  Todd cut a few door-ways and made it an entry through the laundry room.  Unfortunately, through the laundry room is the 3^rd bedroom, so we have to go through the 3^rd bedroom to get to the rest of the house.  Well, he is looking to make the house so that we wouldn’t have to go through that bedroom.

I’m not sure who he thinks he’s married to, but I don’t want big, modern, fancy stuff.  I am OK with the way he has been redoing our home, and the way it turned out - inexpensive yet practical.

I’m Convinced Todd is as Crazy as I Am…

Yes.  That’s right.  I said it.  Maybe that’s why we get along so well together (and sometimes, we want to strangle each other!) 

My husband should have been an engineer as a career.  He is always thinking.  Sometimes, when I’m talking to him at dinner, I can tell he’s thinking about something else, and that urks me to no end.  Then, the next day when I mention it, he says, “You never told me about that.”  Umm…yes I did.  Actually, four times.  You were just thinking about something else.

At any rate, since we purchased the house next door in 2008, we haven’t decided exactly what we wanted to do with it.  At one point, Todd wanted to gut it and use it as a shed, another time, he wanted to tear down the part closest to the house, but then keep the garage and cement driveway.  Then, he said he wanted the whole thing torn down.  We use the land behind the house as Squiggy & Lana’s house and play area as well as the garden.

NOW…this week, he wants to add on to our primary residence and tear down the house next door.  I asked him how much it would cost.  He said, “With a contractor, about $40,000.  But I can do most of it myself and it should be about $15,000.” 

*sigh*

Even though I will admit that I’m a bit nutty, and my brain is on overdrive most of the time (I am completely convinced that I have adult ADD,) Todd’s is as well.  He said that being with me, there will never be a dull moment.  Well, I am learning that being married to him, it is the same.  However, his projects are LARGE projects that cost money!

So, he is completely consumed about saving up money to renovate the house in 3-5 years. 

All I have to say is…oy!

Life Is Never Dull

Before Todd and I got married, we went to see the pastor who was marrying us.  We had never met the gentleman before.  He was a patient of mom & Doc’s from the office. 

I remember when the pastor (I cant for the life of me remember his name!) was asking us questions, and he asked each of us what we love about the other.  I will never forget Todd’s answer:  “Life is never dull with Meg*n.”  I laugh every time I think of the conversation we had.

To this day, Todd can get pretty irritated with me.  I constantly have 100 (or more) things going through my head.  I have ideas about businesses I’d like to start, garden planning, schedules to abide by, house chores I’d like to get done, projects I’d like him to start or finish, budget information, work, family, vacation ideas…the list keeps going on and on.  I politely remind him, “That’s why you love me! Remember?”  That normally starts us both laughing…because it’s true.  Life will NEVER be dull between his sense of humor and my ideas which are usually “simply bonkers!”

And yes…that’s why I named the blog that.  Because that’s how I feel most days!

My Mr. Fix-It

Todd really should have been an engineer.  I swear, it’s his calling.  This man can fix ANYTHING!  I am constantly amazed at what he can fix, and what he thinks up. I cant imagine how much the home-improvements on our home would have cost if he couldn’t do them by himself.  So far, the only three things we’ve hired people to do are: 1.) Roof (because I wanted to make sure it was done right and had a warranty), 2.) Septic (required by the county to be one of their approved excavators,) and 3.) Cutting down huge trees that were too close to our home.

Todd installed the gutters on our home when we first moved in (there were no gutters when we bought the place!)  Ever since, we’ve had really bad icicles.  These never really bothered me, except for when they dripped on my head when I walked out the French doors.  Apparently, they’ve bothered Todd.  So…he went looking for a solution.

And guess what?  He found a solution!  He bought women’s pantyhose (he must have looked weird in WalMart looking at boxes hose) and a couple of jugs of the de-icer pellets.  Of course, if we didn’t have little critters running around, he could have gone for the cheaper salt, but this is pet friendly (thank goodness, because Lana was drinking out of the rain gutter yesterday!)  You fill up the knee-highs with the de-icer and tie the end.  He then tied several of them across the roof where we have the most icicles.  He made and tied 6 of them.  And it worked!  We had a really good snow, and so far, there are no icicles! 

He is such a fart smeller…I mean, smart feller!  (This is his joke that he’s said since we met…and now, I’ve acquired it!)

My Mr. Fix-It costs us a lot of money sometimes, but he sure does come in handy.  I love him to pieces.

Children & Marriage

Lately, Todd and I have been talking about how we believe children should be raised.  For the first time in our 5-year relationship, we have open conversations about children.  For most people, I assume these topics would (should) have been discussed before marriage, but for us, it wasn’t.

I’m not sure what the change of heart is in each of us.  Todd always said that he wanted kids if I wanted children.  Well, I didn’t want children.  Our relationship was so rocky that I couldn’t even imagine having ANOTHER child to deal with (yes, I thought of him as a child.  He acted like one!) 

There has been a huge turn in our relationship together over the past 6 months (maybe when I stopped seeing him as a child?)  I truly, honestly am in love with my husband.  If I started this blog a year and a half ago, it wouldn’t be so lovey-dovey.  No way, no how.  We were just existing with one another.  He wanted out, and so did I.  We were miserable together. 

I’m not sure if marriage is this rough for everyone the first three years, or if it was just us, but I’m glad we went through it.  Yes, we were miserable, and we didn’t come together on a lot of things, but we have just gelled together and we fit so perfectly.  In the beginning, I couldn’t take his corny sarcasm, and now…I am the corny sarcastic one!  If you cant beat ‘em, join ‘em!  We communicate about what is important to us without jumping down one another’s throat.  And because of this, we have been able to see eye-to-eye about children.

We agree on what we would want of our children.  I was surprised when Todd was OK with the fact that I would want to home-school our children.  He was surprisingly OK with me not wanting the children to be involved with the TV (if it were my choice, I’d say get rid of the TV’s all together, but that wont happen with Todd around.)  It was just a back and forth conversation about what we’d like of our children and what we wouldn’t.  It was refreshing and it made me love him that much more knowing that we want the same thing (for the most part.) 

There is still a question about Todd being able to have children and my health, so for now, we will have to continue to talk about what we want and wait.  I want to be out of debt with a bit of an emergency fund, get an “OK” from the doctor, and THEN we can start trying.  If it is God’s will, then we will have children. Otherwise, we are perfectly happy with being with one another (or possibly adopting!)

Love Notes

Wednesday evening after dinner, I was outside with the kittens playing (and hoping they’d go potty!) before I went over to play with Lana & Squiggy for the evening (I like to wear everyone out before bedtime and give them lots of love!)  Todd sent me a text message without me even knowing about it.  When I’m home, my phone is normally always in my purse and I don’t bother to answer it or check it until I am on my way to work the next morning.  Thursday morning, I checked my phone on my way to work, and I had a sweet love message waiting for me that Todd sent at 7:05 the night before.  The note was about how much he loved me and how much he enjoyed watching my play with the little balls of fur outside.  And some other things that I wont divulge in (you can thank me for that! J )

I thought it was so sweet of him to do that, knowing that I wouldn’t get the message until the next morning.  I was doing something that I thought was really insignificant, but he found it endearing.  It melted my heart.

It also made me think about the fact that we were willing to throw this all away.  All of this fun and laughter as well as new experiences. 

Then I started to think about when we have children.  Would times be like this when we have little ones running around?  I see how much fun the menagerie is with 1 pot bellied pig, 1 puppy, and 4 cats.  I am sure it would be even better with a little one around.  Then I started to really yearn to start a family with Todd. 

We may not be perfect, but I am completely convinced we are perfect for each other. He is a pain in the tuckus (a word we use to describe Squiggy’s cute bottom) at times, but I can deal with those times if we have these fun times with each other and the sweet love notes once in a while.  Todd makes me want to be a better wife, a better daughter, a better friend, and a better person in general.

Are You Planning On Having Children?

Todd and I have been married for 3 1/2 years.  The question we get continuously is whether or not we are planning on having children.  I got this question last week when I went out with our neighbor who is a friend of mine.

As I've mentioned in a previous post, the first 3 years of our marriage was not roses.  Actually, it was pretty much thorns. I didnt know if we'd make it. It is not all from the house, Squiggy, money, the lack of communication either.  There were several other issues that I'd prefer not to discuss.  So, needless to say, I avoided the thought of children.  Why get my hopes up and then things end badly? I didnt want to be another statistic.  I wanted to build a strong relationship with my husband. 

Since Todd and I have gone to counseling and learned alot about what the other needs and how to open our communication, I feel as though I've fallen in love with him all over again.  It is times like this that I feel that we should start a family.  I will be 30 in less than 4 months.  Todd will be 40 in 7 months.  We've talked about children in the past, and for Todd, he can go either way.  If I wanted to have children, he would be more than happy.  If I didnt, he would be perfectly fine.  He says he's always dreamed of having a home, a couple of kids, and a picket fence.  Well, we have the home, we have the picket fence, but no fur-less children.  He struggles with the thought of being "old" when the child would graduate from High School and College.  He also knows about my health background.

In 2005, at the age of 24, I had a stroke.  I have been informed that I would always be at risk when it was time to have children.  Todd has always said that  if having children means I may not be around, he is not interested.  He prefers our life together than a life without me. 

Now, with getting H1N1 last year and getting a blood clot from that, I am on blood thinners.  That being said, I was informed not to get pregnant.  It may lead to miscarriage or deformities. 

So...we are in limbo.
Maybe in another year or so, I can get off of the meds I am on and be truly healhty.  Not only that, I want to enjoy my husband for a little while longer - grow with one another for a little while.  The past 7 months with him have been wonderful.  That sound so odd - married for 3 1/2 years, but the past 7 months have been bliss.  I pray that the rest of our lives will be like this...maybe with the pitter patter of a few extra feet running around though.

Quote: Marriage

Success in marriage is more than finding the right person: it is being the right person."
~Robert Browning

Making Life Rich Without Any Money

The Story of Us

The picture shown above was taken July 4, 2009 with my niece, Annabelle.
 I originally thought I did not want to use our names in the blog but what the heck.  Why not. I am going to abbreviate my name because it has a different spelling (thanks mom!), and I would prefer to keep my personal life personal from the hundreds I work with across the country in my occupation.

So, hello, my name is Meg.  My husband’s name is Todd. I thought it may be nice to introduce ourselves and let you know how we met and how our relationship has evolved to what it is today.

Todd and I met online at http://www.plentyoffish.com/.  When I read his profile, I felt we had a lot in common and I could relate to him.  I messaged him in December of 2005 and we’ve been talking ever since.  Actually, that’s not true.  He never responded back to my original message, so I messaged him again.  Today, he says that he thought I was “a little crazy,” but he messaged me back! We met face-to-face approximately a month later in January.

Within 6 months of meeting, Todd took me to Niagara Falls as a surprise for an evening and proposed after dinner in a beautiful suite at the Red Coach Inn.

This is the living room of the suite.   Afterwards, we decided to take a walk by the Falls (we had a view of the Falls from our suite, but we wanted to go enjoy the July evening.)  We were walking around and enjoying the sights when fireworks went off! It was incredible. Apparently, during the summer, Niagara Falls has free fireworks for everyone to see on Friday and Saturday evenings. We had so much fun and a lot of great memories there.

We decided that we wanted a small wedding.  I am not really a girly-girl.  I cannot honestly say that I had dreamed of my wedding as a little girl. Todd and I are both very family oriented so we decided that we wanted a wedding with immediate family only.  We also enjoy “Amish Country.”  Where we live, there are quite a few areas that have a predominant Amish population, one of them being Berlin, OH or Holmes County.  My mother found this bed & breakfast called Hannah’s House.  When we went to go view the property, we knew instantly that this is where we wanted to get married: outside on the back patio in front of the rock waterfall.

We got married on Thursday, May 3^rd, 2007.  Why Thursday?  Because I always liked May 2^nd or 3^rd, and our flight for our honeymoon left Friday afternoon!  Todd and I were both late to our own wedding…but we figured they couldn’t start without us.

We had 9 guests at our wedding.  My brother, who is a Marine, made it from California and surprised me by wearing his dress blues.  That in and of itself brought tears to my eyes.  My only surviving grandparent, my grandmother (from my father’s side) was there, my father and his wife, my mother and her husband, my brother and his wife, and Todd’s parents.

We decided to make our own dinner as well.  Even though my parents are divorced, it was nice having everyone all together at the dinner table laughing and having a great time with one another.  Everyone had their own separate room for the evening – and we woke up and had breakfast together as a family the next morning.  It was absolutely perfect for us.

The honeymoon was a cruise to Alaska.  Todd was in the Navy many years ago, and has been to quite a few places around the world.  I wanted a once in a lifetime honeymoon (within the budget!)  Well, the Alaskan Cruise was just that! We had am amazing time and we cant wait to go back again one day. OK, so maybe it’s a twice in a lifetime place to see!

I will not sit here and say that our marriage has been all roses the past 3 ½ years.  We have been through a lot as a couple.  With the help of a mediator (our counselor) and a lot of hard work and perseverance, we are getting to where we want to be in this relationship.  I am being forced to learn the meaning of “compromise.”

Advice and tips are always appreciated.