Saturday, November 27, 2010

Children & Marriage

Lately, Todd and I have been talking about how we believe children should be raised.  For the first time in our 5-year relationship, we have open conversations about children.  For most people, I assume these topics would (should) have been discussed before marriage, but for us, it wasn’t.

I’m not sure what the change of heart is in each of us.  Todd always said that he wanted kids if I wanted children.  Well, I didn’t want children.  Our relationship was so rocky that I couldn’t even imagine having ANOTHER child to deal with (yes, I thought of him as a child.  He acted like one!) 

There has been a huge turn in our relationship together over the past 6 months (maybe when I stopped seeing him as a child?)  I truly, honestly am in love with my husband.  If I started this blog a year and a half ago, it wouldn’t be so lovey-dovey.  No way, no how.  We were just existing with one another.  He wanted out, and so did I.  We were miserable together. 

I’m not sure if marriage is this rough for everyone the first three years, or if it was just us, but I’m glad we went through it.  Yes, we were miserable, and we didn’t come together on a lot of things, but we have just gelled together and we fit so perfectly.  In the beginning, I couldn’t take his corny sarcasm, and now…I am the corny sarcastic one!  If you cant beat ‘em, join ‘em!  We communicate about what is important to us without jumping down one another’s throat.  And because of this, we have been able to see eye-to-eye about children.

We agree on what we would want of our children.  I was surprised when Todd was OK with the fact that I would want to home-school our children.  He was surprisingly OK with me not wanting the children to be involved with the TV (if it were my choice, I’d say get rid of the TV’s all together, but that wont happen with Todd around.)  It was just a back and forth conversation about what we’d like of our children and what we wouldn’t.  It was refreshing and it made me love him that much more knowing that we want the same thing (for the most part.) 

There is still a question about Todd being able to have children and my health, so for now, we will have to continue to talk about what we want and wait.  I want to be out of debt with a bit of an emergency fund, get an “OK” from the doctor, and THEN we can start trying.  If it is God’s will, then we will have children. Otherwise, we are perfectly happy with being with one another (or possibly adopting!)

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