Funny Conversation

Todd called me on my way to work the other morning.  He calls me every morning if he is at work and I’m on my way to work because we don’t see each other in the morning.  He is usually out the door by 4:30 and he gives me a kiss goodbye, and that’s about it.   We were talking about how our diet has been going.  I told him that I am having a horrible time with my sweet tooth.

Todd then said, “When I get home, I am going to get my pliers and we will take care of it! No more sweet tooth!” 

Believe me, I wish it were that easy.

Healthier Lifestyle

Todd and I are on our way for the weight-loss competition.  I was looking at recipes online for healthy sweets (other than fruits.)  I have a hard time living without sweets, especially after dinner.  It is a real, true addiction.  I was thinking that it’d be best if I make items that will help with my sweet tooth but are also healthy.

I found a recipe that called for whole wheat graham crackers and natural peanut butter.  I don’t want to buy whole wheat graham crackers.  I don’t want to buy even organic peanut butter.  I want to stay away from the preservatives and make the food we eat with my own two hands.  I found several recipes for homemade peanut butter that I am looking forward to making.  Also, I found a great, easy recipe for whole wheat graham crackers.  The only problem with the recipe for graham crackers is that it called for butter.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to use any more store-bought butter.  To me, it is salty (I hate salt – I never use it in any of my recipes).  Not only that, it has preservatives.  So, I went on my way to trying to find recipes to make butter, and sure enough, it looks pretty darn easy!  I look forward to making butter myself.

I brought it up to a friend of mine from work about needing REAL milk (from a cow or goat) and how it is not legal to sell it here in Ohio.  I live very close to an Amish village as well as an Amish butcher.  In Pennsylvania, it IS legal to buy raw milk.   So, do I try to find an Amish farm that will sell me milk to drink as well as to make my own butter?

I was telling my friend, and he said, “There is a reason it is not legal in Ohio.  It is dangerous if it’s not pasteurized.”  He also copped a bit of an attitude and said, “So what, are you going to get a cow now?” I asked him where the hostility was coming from, and he said that I didn’t make sense to him.  I wanted eggs, so I bought chickens.  I want to make butter, so I now have to find raw milk.  He kept going on and on about how people in the 21^st century are living longer BECAUSE of the additives and preservatives.  I do not agree with that at all.  My belief is that people are living longer in the 21^st century due to modern medicine and that the foods we eat with the corn syrup and preservatives are killing us!  My friend, Mike, and I agreed to disagree on the topic.

Am I the only one that sees the benefits of making food from scratch?  We are by no means anywhere close to being organic or even healthy for that matter, but we are working toward it!  If I can create meals for Todd and I to live longer, taste better and make our waistlines go down, I don’t see a problem with it! 

Weight-Loss Challenge

Todd and I are going away in 6 ½ weeks on our vacation to the Monongahela National Forest in West Virginia.  We both have been complaining about being too fat and out of shape.  So, we have a challenge.  We are both going to try to lose weight for our vacationi in the beginning of May.  He would like to lose 15 lbs.  I would really like to lose 20 lbs. 

I have been putting off taking Lana for a walk in the mornings because it’s been so darn cold (freezing temps here!) and the fact that Todd lost the leash we walk her on.  Well, I have a new leash for her to go walking with.  I just have to get my butt up and out of bed, and out the door to walk the little pup.  We will see when I start.  I have to figure out how this leash works (it is one that goes around her head and nose called a gentle leader.)

So…the countdown begins.  We are weighing ourselves to determine who wins.  What will the other win?  I don’t know.  It’s just a competition. But I definitely need to lose some of this weight!

I'm Sig

What is “sig,” you ask?  When you have such bad sinus problems, you cant really pronounce “sick.” So, in our home, we call it “sig.”  And that is exactly what I am right now.

People at work have been passing around a cold, and though I don’t think I have a cold (denial,) I have major congestion!  I am fortunate enough not to get sinus headaches, but when my sinuses are clogged, my ears feel like they are clogged.  They feel like I am in an airplane or on a high mountain and need to pop them, but cant.  The pressure is horrendous, and it makes me feel as though I’m in a daze.

With my sinuses completely clogged, I have a really hard time breathing.  I am NOT a mouth-breather.  It’s times like these that I realize how much I breathe through my nose.  Also, when I have a hard time breathing, I get a little paranoid.  Even though it was over a year and a half ago that I had severe H1N1,  that hospital stay and recovery are not things I want to go through again.  Nor do I want to put my family though that again.

I have given in and took a decongestant for the past couple of days, which helps for a little while.  If things get worse, I promise to go to the doctor.  Otherwise, I think I’ll just suffer through it as I always do.

Weight Loss Status

On Monday, January 17^th, I decided enough was enough, and I was going to start watching my portions again.  After my pants shrunk (wink – wink) over the holidays, and me not being able to stop shoving my face full of food, I had to put an end to the over-eating.

Within two days, I lost 4 lbs.  It amazes me how much the body can shed in a short period of time.  I don’t know if it was water weight, or just the fact that I didn’t have as much food in my system, but I was pleasantly surprised.

The biggest kicker to me is that I’m not even hungry.  I seriously could eat a half a box of cereal in the morning, or even a ham, egg and cheese bagel (homemade, of course) in the past.  But this morning, I wasn’t even hungry enough to eat the full ½ cup of oatmeal with raisins and honey.  I gave most of it to Lana. 

So…we will see where this weight loss goes.  As much as I’d love to see the numbers on my new scale (I got for Christmas) go down, I just want to be healthy.  I want to feel my pants get bigger instead of smaller, and I want to have a picture taken of me that I’m not afraid to post on the blog or facebook.

I am still not brave enough to list my weight on the blog.  I see people that I think are my size, but they weigh 40 lbs less than me!  When I told a friend here at work how much I weigh, she said, “You cant tell!”  Well, I can tell.  And quite frankly, the numbers don’t lie. 

Moderation

Since the Holidays, I have been eating non-stop.  My pants and the scale can attest to that.  I decided that it has to end.  I have felt AWFUL for the past few weeks.  I get winded by walking outside and getting Lana and feeding Squiggy.  I am tired, all of the time.  It has been defficult trying to watch what I eat knowing that we have so much food in the fridge.  But it is all gone.  There are no more excuses. 

My water intake has been minimal lately.  So that will change as well.

I will be 30 in a few weeks, and my goal was to lose 40 lbs by this time.  That did not happen.  But that doesnt mean I cant start today.

For breakfast, I will have an english muffin with peanut butter and a glass of milk.
Snack at work will be an apple.
Lunch will be 1/2 can tuna and some goldfish.  Apple for another snack.
I'm supposed to be going out to dinner with the girls tonight, so we'll see how that goes.

I weighed myself this morning and put it into my Armstrong App.  I will keep my caloric intake and weight with that again.

Wish me luck!

PMS

I know of people who get physically ill when they get their Aunt Flo visits monthly.  Even in High School, I knew of girls who would have migraines, some would be doubled over in pain, others would vomit profusely. 

I am lucky enough that I don’t have any of those symptoms.  However, my monthly brings out the worst in me.  I get terribly moody several days before Aunt Flo decides to come visit.  The first day of my cycle, I have the patience of an ant.  If someone LOOKS at me the wrong way, I can lose my temper.  I get the feeling of being overwhelmed with the simplest of things. 

Thankfully, I am on Lexapro, which they say is for “anxiety,” but I really feel it is for depression as well.  Without it, my mind races five thousand miles a minute and I cant concentrate on any one thing.  Because of this, I get exhausted because my brain never stops.  I have a hard time watching what comes out of my mouth, and I have a tendency to push away those I love. 

When Aunt Flo is on her way, I know that I have to prepare.  I have to prepare myself to bite my tongue as to not get into an argument with Todd.  I have to learn that when I feel like we will fight, I have to remove myself from the situation and do my own thing in another room, or with the critters.  Then, on the 3^rd day, there is an unusual peace that I feel.  I get very lovey-dovey and very “chill.”  Anything goes.

It is a strange cycle, but we have learned in our house how to prepare for it and deal with it. 

One tip that I’ve learned (thanks to research done by Todd,) is that if you drink lots of water before the visit, you will be less bloated and have minimal cramps.  I don’t know how or why, but it has definitely worked for me!

Does anyone else have these same issues?

Weigh-In

I woke up this morning bloated from two days of PIGGING (sorry Squiggy) out.  I realized that I cant stay on track if I dont know how many calories I've consumed and how much I weigh.  So, I jumped on the scale this morning.  It was NOT pretty, but at least I know how much I weigh again.

And then I realized that I need to minimize what I eat again.  So, instead of having eggs and toast for the 3rd day in a row (not good for my cholesterol anyways,) I will have my 1/2 cup of oatmeal with a tablespoon of honey for breakfast (but only when my belly grumbles.)  I'm not sure what I will have for lunch, but dinner will be leftovers.  My mom sent us home with SO MANY leftovers.  It is kind of nice, because we are trying to eat everything we've got in the fridge before Friday when we leave to go to Florida. 

Oh, and I hope to take the puppy out for a walk around the block today and do some work outside on the red raspberry bushes and flower containers (I havent cut anything back yet.)

So...the weigh-in, a day late.
I GAINED a few pounds.  I am now down only 8 lbs since the beginning.
I FAILED at losing 20 lbs by Thanksgiving.  But today is a new day. 
I would like to lose 5 lbs by Friday before we leave to go to Florida.  That may sound like a lot, but I think that most of the weight I gained is water weight from not drinking enough, and eating too much ham that was sent home with us.  I think 5 lbs should be just right.

Wish me luck!

Diet

This past week was a rough one for the “diet.”  A friend of mine had his birthday on Tuesday, so I treated him to lunch and Wednesday was Benihana day. Oh, and not to mention Aunt Flo decided to come and visit for the week. On Tuesday, after lunch, I felt absolutely awful.  I ate so much (even though it was a fraction of what I used to eat as the “norm.”)  I was ill for the rest of the evening.

Wednesday, I did better (I ate only 1/3 of the Benihana lunch) but still felt sick to my stomach for most of the day.

Today, Thursday (November 18^th,) I feel SOOO much better.  I had a small breakfast, coffee when I got to work and a half of a tuna sandwich for lunch.  I will have my apple or carrots in a couple of hours and maybe another before I go home for the day.

What’s my point?  I think my stomach is shrinking!  So when I overindulge, I am MISERABLE.  I have to keep this in mind next week on Turkey-Day!

I really attribute my lower cholesterol to the fact that I’m not eating as much.  I am still eating what I like to eat, but not nearly the quantity.  And do you know what else I have noticed that this has helped?  Not only am I now in control of my eating habbits, but I feel like I am more in control with the organization at home and finances! It’s funny how these completely different things have gone hand-in-hand.

Weight Loss Aspirations

This may sound stupid, but I am looking forward to seeing my collar bones again.  I’m not sure if everyone has that ONE THING they are looking forward to most when they lose weight, but mine are my collar bones.  I have not seen them in years. 

In High School, I lost quite a bit of weight (over 30 lbs.)  I was down to 138 which may not be “skinny” to some, but I was a twig.  It was the smallest I’d ever been.  I was going through a rough time with my parents divorce and I was obsessive about my weight going so far as to nearly OD’ing on my mom’s weight loss pills.  After nearly OD’ing, I decided that I would watch what I ate and exercise excessively…and that’s exactly what I did.  I remember taking my lunch to school with me.  My lunch consisted of: a bag of pretzels (sandwich bag-full,) a miracle whip free & pickle sandwich (very low in calories), and a few marshmallows for dessert.  Everyone made fun of me, but I lost a lot of weight. 

Though I am not willing to go to those extremes again, I am desperately trying to lose weight and to keep it off for good.  I don’t even recognize myself anymore, it’s that bad. My goal weight is 150, as I’ve mentioned in the past.  Again, that may be heavy to some, but for some reason, with my frame, it’s not. It’s a size 6/8.  I am desperate to get off of my medications, get healthy and possibly start a family. 

Weekly Weigh-In: November 19th

This morning, I weighed in and I was the same as last week.
This is perfectly fine by me, because Aunt Flo came to visit and I feel like I've been eating like a piggy. 
Hopefully this weekend and next week will be better (with exception to Turkey Day!!)

These are my stats:
Weight lost thus far: 11 lbs
My goal was to lose 20 lbs by Thanksgiving.  Quite frankly, it wouldnt be healthy for me to lose the weight by Thanksgiving, and I'm OK with that.

Doctor's Appointment

I had my doctor's appointment Monday of this week.  Let me tell you, I am so excited!  I am off of the blood thinners after a year of dealing with all of the risks and bruises.

My cholesterol went from 249 to 205!!! YAY!  Only 6 more points and it will be "normal."

I lost some weight - I dont like their scale.  It is always alot higher than mine.

So, I have another appointment the day after my 30th birthday.
I am looking forward to weighing less, having even BETTER blood pressure and cholesterol!!

My Not-So-Frugal Weekend

This weekend, I did NOT have a frugal weekend in any sense of the word.

Friday, I had a $35 Urgent Care visit (and they couldnt help because of the blood thinner I'm on,) $150 Co-Pay for the ER visit.  Then, on Sunday, I got a ticket for going through a yellow light.  Yup.  That's right.  A $305 weekend of MY issues.

I called this morning to see how much I owed for the ticket (Todd wants me to dispute it,) and it is $120!  Oy! 

I am just hoping our car insurance will not go up because of this.  My last ticket from 3 years ago finally dropped off and our insurance went down by half.  I am thinking it could be because I'm coming up on my 30th birthday. 

Again, I repeat, Oy!
I am paying for the ticket out of my allowance.  I have to learn to start abiding by the rules.

Green Smoothie

A few months ago, I started drinking raw, “green” smoothies.  I read an article online about the benefits of raw food as well as the fact that it can cure and prevent cancer! I was a bit over-the-top about eating raw (who me?  Obsessive? No…)  Let me tell you, it’s not easy!

I enjoy sitting down to eat dinner with my husband every evening.  This is something I did growing up.  We ALWAYS ate dinner together at the table.  No ifs, ands or buts about it.  I am pretty adamant about that for Todd and I as well. 

That being said, it was difficult to drink a smoothie while Todd was eating awesome dinners.  I felt a little neglected.  So now, I drink a smoothie once in a while as a meal replacement. 

What I like about the green smoothies is that I get my fruits/veggies in for the day within 2 meals.  Also, these raw shakes will “clean you out” in no time!  I was doing two a day, and eating dinner with Todd in the evenings.  I had more energy, didn’t feel exhausted at 2:30 every day (as usual), lost quite a bit of weight, and felt great!  It also helped with my cravings for sweets.  However, it was not something I could continue.  It is not the smoothie’s fault, but my own inability to stay motivated.

My smoothies usually are as follows:

1-2 carrots

1 stalk of celery

1 apple

1 banana

water

When a specific fruit was in season, I’d throw a bit of it in there with these items.  Strawberries, blueberries, grapes, watermelon, cantaloupe, kiwi, etc. The sky is the limit! They were so yummy! 

I would like to continue to drink a smoothie at least once a day for the health benefits and to keep my caloric intake down.  The great thing about them is that you can “hide” the vegetables in a sweet smoothie.  They are high in fiber and very filling too! 

Tosh

I come from a split family.  My father has remarried (Trina), and my mother has remarried (Doc.)  I have a total of 1 blood brother (Derek, the Marine who is currently in Afghanistan,) 3 step-brothers and 1 step-sister.  My step-sister (Trina’s daughter) is named Tosh.  She lives with my father and his wife along with my niece, Natalie (Tosh’s daughter.)

If I remember correctly, Tosh is one or two years younger than I am.  She was always really bright.  Always had her nose in a book and just very smart.  She has a great sense of humor and is always making us laugh.

When she had my niece, Natalie, in April of 2006, she was married to a man that really didn’t suit her.  He was not a very good provider (actually, he was a leach,) and was not worth much, in our opinion.  When Natalie was born, Tosh was having a hard time remembering the last time she fed Natalie or changed Natalie.  The nurse noticed this, and talked to a doctor about it.

Shortly after, Tosh was sent for an MRI and CAT scan.  It was realized that Tosh had a brain tumor wrapped around her optic nerve the size of a grapefruit.  When talking to her ex-husband, he had mentioned that she was getting forgetful, but didn’t think anything of it.  When Trina went to their apartment, she was blown away.  There was a sea of post-it notes EVERYWHERE reminding Tosh to brush her teeth, take a bath, eat breakfast, etc.  Who knows how long she was this way!!

It was decided that Natalie would go to my dad and his wife while Tosh’s ex-husband stayed with Tosh and took care of her.  Tosh had brain surgery, twice.  She was not expected to live more than 12 months.

Now…nearly 5 years later, she’s still with us and making us laugh!  The Cleveland Clinic was not able to take out the entire tumor because it was wrapped around her optic nerve.  Tosh is legally blind, and able to see out of only one eye, and has very limited vision out of that eye.  Her ex-husband was taking advantage of her against her will knowing that she may or may not remember what he did to her.  Luckily, she remembered some of it, and decided to get a divorce.  Her ex-husband wasn’t really taking care of her anyways, so it was decided that she’d go live with my father and his wife.

The tumor is still growing, and every couple of years, she has to get it drained to relieve the pressure from her brain.  Because of the steroids, she has gained a lot of weight, become diabetic, and is not very mobile.  But she is with us…and I am so happy for that.  Her memory is not what it was in the past.  She has to be reminded to take her dozens of pills every day.  There are times she is sitting at the dining room table and is on her way to her bedroom, but she says, “I want to go to my bedroom, but I don’t know how to get there.”  She knows what she wants to do, but she doesn’t know how to do it. Like put one foot in front of the other and go to the end of the hall and turn right.  Through all of this, she gave us Natalie, the sweetest, funniest little princess (Diva!) you would ever meet.  She has such a personality!  And to think, if it weren’t for her, Tosh may not be here today.  No one would have ever known about her tumor. 

We fear that Tosh may not get to see her daughter graduate from High School or even walk her down the isle.  But we will all deal with that when the time comes.  Right now, Natalie is so in love with her grandpa, grandma, mom, Auntie M (me,) Uncle Derek, Uncle Todd, and Uncle Kenny (my stepbrother.)  All children are blessings, but this one has a very special place in my heart.  I love her to the moon and back.

Her father has not seen her since the divorce.  Not due to us not letting him; to his lack of interest.  He hasn’t called to talk to his daughter in years.  Both Tosh & Natalie are doing so much better off without him in their lives.

Weekly Weigh-In: November 12th

I cant believe it, but this week, I lost 3 lbs!  I'm not sure how!
I was looking at my numbers on the LiveStrong app and I was really close to my number of calories pretty much every day.  I wonder if being in pain makes the body burn more.  Yes, I am still in pain with that thing on my armpit.  I cant wait for Monday to get here so I can find out what it is and hopefully to figure out how to get rid of it!

So, these are my weight-loss stats:

Weight loss so far: 11 lbs
Only 9 lbs to lose to meet my goal of 20 lbs by Thanksgiving.  Is this doable?  We'll see.

I have been thinking about lowering my calorie intake to 1250/day.  Right now, it is about 1400-1500/day.  I took Lana for a walk only once this week (yesterday.) I would like to take her out for a walk at least 3 days this upcoming week.

Pain

Since Friday, I have had a lump in my armpit.  This has happened before in the other armpit (is there a more feminine word for armpit? It sounds gross.) and has gone away within a week.  The one I have now is horrible.  I talked to my mom this weekend, and she said it is either a clogged gland or my lymphnode.  Whatever it is, it kills.  It is so large, it is protruding from my under-arm.  When I shift into 2nd gear in my car, I get a shocking pain.  Every time I move my arm, it hurts.  Heck, Todd had to help me out of my shirt tonight.

I know I should have it looked at.  It aches all day long. 

So I dont know what to do.  Should I try to get a rush appointment with any doctor who will take me within the next few days or suck it up until Monday when I have my Internal Medicine appointment?  In the past when this has happened, by the time I got to the appointment, it was gone (and the doctor said that sometimes this happens around that time of the month.)  But as I mentioned, this one is the worst one I've ever had. 

I dont normally complain about pain unless it's REAL BAD.  I havent taken anything for the pain which Todd keeps telling me I should.  I dont know what to do...but it hurts.

((My apologies in advance for sounding like a whining baby.))

Day 2: Caloric Deficit of 500 Calories!

On Day 2, my caloric deficit was over 500 calories!  How ?  I am not getting as hungry any more!  I am more conscious of what I am putting into my mouth.  I don’t eat if my belly isn’t grumbling for food.  AND…I walked with Lana even though it was SO COLD outside (maybe shivering burns more calories.)    When I got on the scale this morning, I was down another pound!  I will not weigh myself again until Friday morning.

This plan is so easy, and I am not feeling deprived at all!  I just stay within my calories and try to walk with the puppy every morning!  I can now see that I DON’T need as many calories as I thought I did in the past. 

Weekly Weigh-In: November 5

Since Monday, I've lost 2 lbs!  YAY!

So, my numbers are as follows.

Total weight loss:  8 lbs
12 lbs to go to hit my goal of losing 20 by Thanksgiving.

This weekend will be a tough one.  Hubby is home, and we are doing 2 craft shows.  We may be eating out, or have finger food.  And for breakfast this morning, I've asked for french toast.  I am really craving french toast!

So, we will see what next week brings!
Hopefully 2 more lbs lost!

Day 1 : Caloric Deficit of 325 Calories

Day 1 (Monday, Nov. 1st) : Calorie Deficit of 325 calories

Day 1 – I had a calorie deficit of 325 calories by the end of the day.  I ended up eating a little over 1200 calories!  I was proud of myself and a bit surprised too!  It is amazing to see how SMALL a portion you can get for A LOT of calories on junk food and how MUCH vegetable you get for a SMALL amount of calories!

Todd was home from work on Day 1 (Monday, November 1^st) and made dinner for when I got home.  Because I did such an awesome job on the unagi-don this past weekend, he was trying to mimic another one of our favorite meals at a Mexican restaurant.  It was a bean burrito with diced tomatoes and cheese on top with a dollop of sour cream. 

I was AMAZED at how many calories were in the bean burrito alone!  330!! In the past, I’d eaten 2 of them easily!  On Monday, I ate just one of them at a whopping 450 calories (with all the fixin’s on top.)

I entered all of my calories into the app, and saw I had a 360 calorie deficit and was excited, but knew I had to stop for the day.

Later that evening, Todd asked for a freeze pop while I was going by the kitchen.  I picked up one for him and one for me.  I sat there on the computer and ate my popsicle while he ate his.  After I was done, I was biting on the plastic wrapper, and then I realized what I had just done!  I ate a popsicle without really even thinking about it!!!  NO WONDER I have been gaining weight.  I am eating food without even thinking about what I’m eating or the calories that I am consuming!

I ran into the kitchen to see how many calories I had eaten.  Luckily, it was just 35.  So I was still under for the day.  But this proved to me that I don’t pay attention when I eat.  Moral of the story : Be more conscientious when putting ANYTHING into my mouth.

I weighed myself the next morning, and I had dropped a pound.  I know I shouldn’t weigh myself every day, but I was too excited not to. 

My fear is my lunch out with a coworker every Wednesday.  I get the lunch boat, and I finally found out how many calories are in the lunch boat that I get : 1250!!!  Yes… that’s correct.  My daily allowance of calories is in a single lunch that I’ve been eating every Wednesday for over a year.  The past several weeks, I have been saving the salmon and rice for lunch the next day.  Those two alone are 480 calories!  So, what am I going to do?  I will split it up into 3 meals.

That being said, one lunch will be 415 calories, and the other two would be 315 calories each.  That is a lot of calories to consume for a lunch.  To offset that, I will try to drink a green smoothie for breakfast each day and fill up on water until lunch-time.  If I need a snack, I will have carrots or some popcorn (a bag of the fit & active popcorn is only 50 calories!) 

I cant wait to step on the scale on Friday to see how much I’ve lost!