Sunday, October 24, 2010

Are You Planning On Having Children?

Todd and I have been married for 3 1/2 years.  The question we get continuously is whether or not we are planning on having children.  I got this question last week when I went out with our neighbor who is a friend of mine.

As I've mentioned in a previous post, the first 3 years of our marriage was not roses.  Actually, it was pretty much thorns. I didnt know if we'd make it. It is not all from the house, Squiggy, money, the lack of communication either.  There were several other issues that I'd prefer not to discuss.  So, needless to say, I avoided the thought of children.  Why get my hopes up and then things end badly? I didnt want to be another statistic.  I wanted to build a strong relationship with my husband. 

Since Todd and I have gone to counseling and learned alot about what the other needs and how to open our communication, I feel as though I've fallen in love with him all over again.  It is times like this that I feel that we should start a family.  I will be 30 in less than 4 months.  Todd will be 40 in 7 months.  We've talked about children in the past, and for Todd, he can go either way.  If I wanted to have children, he would be more than happy.  If I didnt, he would be perfectly fine.  He says he's always dreamed of having a home, a couple of kids, and a picket fence.  Well, we have the home, we have the picket fence, but no fur-less children.  He struggles with the thought of being "old" when the child would graduate from High School and College.  He also knows about my health background.

In 2005, at the age of 24, I had a stroke.  I have been informed that I would always be at risk when it was time to have children.  Todd has always said that  if having children means I may not be around, he is not interested.  He prefers our life together than a life without me. 

Now, with getting H1N1 last year and getting a blood clot from that, I am on blood thinners.  That being said, I was informed not to get pregnant.  It may lead to miscarriage or deformities. 

So...we are in limbo.
Maybe in another year or so, I can get off of the meds I am on and be truly healhty.  Not only that, I want to enjoy my husband for a little while longer - grow with one another for a little while.  The past 7 months with him have been wonderful.  That sound so odd - married for 3 1/2 years, but the past 7 months have been bliss.  I pray that the rest of our lives will be like this...maybe with the pitter patter of a few extra feet running around though.


  1. Have you considered adopting? Especially since you have your health to consider. Biological children are certainly wonderful but adoption is such a beautiful thing!! We're considering adopting at some point! We have several friends who have adopted children- both domestic and foreign adoptions!

  2. We really havent talked about adoption. When I was younger, I didnt want to get married, but I wanted to adopt a few handfuls of children and raise them out in the country by myself. LOL. How things have changed!!!

    I'm sure adoption would be an option for us. I dont see why it wouldnt be. We are pretty open. To be honest, I havent even thought about adoption lately! Thank you for bringing it up!

  3. Hey...meg....adoption is the best thing ever! As you know we are adopting 5 kids in a month and it feels as is they have been ours since day 1. There is such a great need for people to adopt kids in need in this country. If you have any questions, feel free to ya, friend!!